Scare tactics and reassurances

Twenty-eight weeks now.  I had an OB appointment at the end of last week where I talked to her about switching care to the home birth midwife.  The OB was, somewhat understandably, concerned, because she doesn't really trust home births to go well, but she also acknowledged her own biases - she only sees the home births that DON'T go well and therefore transfer to hospital in varying stages of urgency.

She told me two stories of babies she delivered who would have died had they been home births.  She was trying to help, but by the end of the appointment I was scared and doubting myself.  I got home and talked to Martin about various points and felt a lot better afterward.

I feel even better today, as a British study has been released which states that low risk women with healthy pregnancies can birth pretty much anywhere with similar levels of risk, particularly if it's a second (or more) baby, and if there is transport to hospital available if it becomes necessary - this is usually for maternal requests for pain relief and other assistance like that, rather than emergencies.

I am also reminded that my midwife, who has attended over a thousand births, recounted to me the six times that she has sadly lost a child.  One was an undetected fatal birth defect.  One was a second twin - and I would never try to birth twins at home.  I forget what the others were, but they weren't related to anything going wrong in the birth itself as far as I can recall.  That's a loss rate of 0.6%.  (My first trimester loss rate is 100 times that!)  Yes, it's horrible being one of those six, but life does contain risk.  As Martin mentioned, we could go to the hospital, give birth, and then all die in a car accident on the way home.  Nothing is guaranteed.

At the hospital, I run a 30+% chance of ending up with a C-section.  I run a high risk of being forced to be induced if I go over my due date, because I turn 35 six weeks before the due date and am therefore labeled as "advanced maternal age".  (Had I not lost the fourth pregnancy I would be due in May, a month before my birthday, and would magically be immune from this label.)  I'd be on all kinds of clocks with the OB.  Ed took 29 hours total, and I'd have been feeling pressure from hospital staff to get things moving more quickly.  I have to balance all of these risks against each other - hospital vs home.  And from where I stand today, home is looking a lot less risky.  Plus, I've done it before!