In the three or four weeks since the miscarriage my manager at work hasn't been the most sensitive of souls regarding the loss. Even before the pregnancy there was so much anti-babies joking going on that I feared that news of my pregnancy would be unwelcome in the extreme.
Today my manager sent me and my coworker two Youtube links of small children doing cute things - the latest in a reasonably long line of unnecessary baby references in the office. I wrote to Martin about how much it was upsetting me, and he drafted me an excellent response to send back to her! So I did. The response was:
Dear (name),
You may recall that I recently suffered a miscarriage, which was both physically and emotionally painful. As a consequence, pregnancy, babies and children are not my favorite subjects for conversation right now. I accept that they happen, but at this time I prefer not to have them brought up unnecessarily.
Please would you refrain from forwarding me non-work related emails about these subjects, or discussing them in the office, if it is at all avoidable.
I am sure in a few months when the emotional pain has subsided a little I will be able to take part in such conversations again without heartache.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
To my complete and utter astonishment...she apologized! She said she was very glad that I wrote to her and apologized for being insensitive, and she also said that if I should get upset by something during the day and need to go home, to do so. She also commented on the office tendency to make negative jokes about babies and children, and I expressed how that had made me feel that an office pregnancy would be unwelcome news. Apparently that would not have been the case. So I'm no longer as apprehensive about the "next try" and how it will affect my work as I had been.
So to summarize....my husband is the best guy on the planet (sorry any other guys reading this!), he has always supported me 100%, and he is awesome!! Thank you M!
I thought he seemed pretty nice. : )
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